10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of milk onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the cup of hot milk cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did you cause it?
The answer is “C".
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, getting stressed out etc.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. Next time you react to any situation, remember the 90-10 principle
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Blame Contd....
When people fail, they often blame someone else for their failure. People blame others when they do poorly at work. Blame is also used to justify personal problems.
When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "effect" instead of being the "cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame.
"Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect."
For example, you lost a business contract and you blame your assistant. You are making your assistant more powerful than you. You might say, "My assistant messed up the appointment, "which is just another way of saying, "My assistant determines if I succeed or fail in keeping an appointment."
If you take responsibility, you would say, "I need to train my assistant so he doesn't make mistakes".
As another example, you might blame someone’s behavior for your stress and anxiety. This makes that person behavior responsible for your feelings. If you say, "That person ruined my mood," you are actually saying, "That person is so powerful that he can control my emotions."
If you wish to succeed in life, you have to end the blame game and accept responsibility for yourself. You only get ahead when you become "cause" over the situation and not the “effect”.
When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "effect" instead of being the "cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame.
"Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect."
For example, you lost a business contract and you blame your assistant. You are making your assistant more powerful than you. You might say, "My assistant messed up the appointment, "which is just another way of saying, "My assistant determines if I succeed or fail in keeping an appointment."
If you take responsibility, you would say, "I need to train my assistant so he doesn't make mistakes".
As another example, you might blame someone’s behavior for your stress and anxiety. This makes that person behavior responsible for your feelings. If you say, "That person ruined my mood," you are actually saying, "That person is so powerful that he can control my emotions."
If you wish to succeed in life, you have to end the blame game and accept responsibility for yourself. You only get ahead when you become "cause" over the situation and not the “effect”.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Behavior...
Have you ever heard yourself, or someone else, say: "Don't mind, he didn't know what he was doing"? If so, you have been exposed to the wisdom of "looking beyond behavior."
While dealing with children, we all know very well the importance of - simple act of forgiveness. If we all based our love on children's behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could try to extend this same loving-kindness toward everyone we meet? Wouldn't we live in a more loving community if, when someone acted in a way that we didn't approve of, we could see their actions in a similar light as our teenager's bad behavior?
This doesn't mean that we walk around and pretend that everything is always wonderful, allow others to "walk all over us," or that we excuse or approve of negative behavior. Instead, it simply means having the perspective to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Know that when your assistant is moving slowly, he is probably having a bad day, or perhaps all of his days are bad. Looking beyond behavior gives us the perspective to not get upset and disappointed with every bad behavior of others.
While dealing with children, we all know very well the importance of - simple act of forgiveness. If we all based our love on children's behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could try to extend this same loving-kindness toward everyone we meet? Wouldn't we live in a more loving community if, when someone acted in a way that we didn't approve of, we could see their actions in a similar light as our teenager's bad behavior?
This doesn't mean that we walk around and pretend that everything is always wonderful, allow others to "walk all over us," or that we excuse or approve of negative behavior. Instead, it simply means having the perspective to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Know that when your assistant is moving slowly, he is probably having a bad day, or perhaps all of his days are bad. Looking beyond behavior gives us the perspective to not get upset and disappointed with every bad behavior of others.
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